why i prt. 2

Why I did not go to Jay Gatsby's funeral. It was not because I did not love him because you are absolutely wrong. I love that man with all my heart. Our love and situation was just complicated. After I heard the news that Gatsby was dead I was just stunned. I sat in my room for several days and thought about this whole journey. Jay Gatsby, the greatest man I have ever laid eyes on was dead. What a tragedy! I was in shock for several days. I had very bad depression and Tom would not get out of bed. On the day of the funeral I laid in my bed. I was dressed in black and crying. Jay Gatsby is dead. Tom and I had a fight the night before about going to the funeral. He screamed and said he would not let me attend to the funeral. He said that a man who ruined our loved should be dead and we shall not attend the funeral. I screamed and pleaded but he was as stubborn as ever. He had a few drinks in him and slapped me across the face. He was so angry at me and Jay. He wanted nothing to do with Jay. On the day of the funeral, I heard Tom crying. Tom has never cried before, not even on our wedding day! I knew he was crying over the woman I had killed. I knew they were in love. I guess the way of getting back at me was not letting me see the one I loved on his funeral day. I was upset I was not able to go. I loved Gatsby. But maybe that was just enough. 

why i prt. 1

Why I married Tom. It is kind of a complicated situation on why I married Tom. We had a great time together and it seemed the right thing to do I thought he was dashing and a wonderful person. Being in love again felt great! But as the years went on I started to resent being with Tom. He started to bully me as if I was less than him because of my sex. He started getting into science books and preaching these ridiculous thoughts! I kept a happy face and praised Tom as a good wife should. But that act got old and I was just fed up. He was my husband for sure, but I could feel I was no longer his wife. I could that he might not love me anymore. That our sacred matrimony meant nothing to him. I loved Tom when we were married. But the truth is that I only really married Tom because I did not know if Jay was alive or not. I love Jay so much in my teen years and after I lost that I was a wreck. The first person I had romantic feelings for after Jay was Tom. I knew I couldn't let him go. So we got married! It might have been a bad idea because I only married him because I was lonely. Don't get me wrong, I loved Tom. But loving someone out of lack of love from someone else is just wrong. I am very fed up with Tom. I wish I never married him. 

what i was thinking prt 2

What I was thinking when I hit that woman. I was so angry at Tom and myself. I was angry at Jay. I was just full of emotions. My mind was blinded and I was driving. I needed to calm down. I thought that driving would calm me down. It was the worst decision of my life. I never thought that something like that would happen. I never thought that I would ever kill someone. I never thought that I could ever do it. I wanted her to be okay. I wanted her to live. I truly did. It is ashame that she died. It is just utterly awful. I keep trying to keep my head clear of the situation. I keep repeating the incident over and over again in my head. My mind keeps wishing I never stepped foot into that driver's seat. What will happen when they find out it was me? How will Tom feel? What will happen? My mind cannot cope with the situation. I remember driving down the road, extremely upset at what happened in town. It kept hovering my mind. Then out of nowhere here comes this woman, waving her arms. All i remember is hitting her. That sound. Jay's face. When he told me stop, I just wanted to drive away faster. My mind was racing. Drive. Drive. Drive. My mind was going crazy. I just wanted to be home. I just wanted to forget. Why couldn't I forget. Why did it happen? Why did I drive? Who was that woman? Why? Why? Why?

what i was feeling prt 2

When Nick had called and invited me over for tea I felt very confused when he said "Don't bring Tom" It made me feel that he had a crush on me! I am darling and beautiful but I am his cousin! I felt so happy and wonderful when I arrived at Nick's house! It was gorgeous on the inside of the house! It was filled with flowers that brightened up the dim room. It was pouring down raining which made me feel a little sad. Then I got a huge surprise. I saw Jay Gatsby for the first time in 5 years. It was a spectacular surprise. I felt a rush of feelings of both happy and sad. I missed this man deerly. But last time I saw him we were in love. Now we are not in love. I did not know how to feel. It was a lot of emotions all at once and I could feel my heart pounding. This was Jay Gatsby. The love of my life. Standing right before me looking dashing as ever. He is as beautiful as he was 5 years ago. When we started talking, my emotions took over and I cried. I realized how much I missed Jay after all this time. When he invited me to his house I was in shock. His house was gorgeous and wonderful. He showed off the outside, and inside to me. He showed off these beautiful shirts, and started throwing them. His carefree attitude was what I always admired about his. He made me feel as if I could walk on water. He made me happy and made me feel truly alive. 

What I was thinking pt-1

When Nick came to visit, I thought how much I missed him. My dear cousin. He might be my second cousin but he is my dear cousin. He couldn't make it to my wedding, but he is still a fantastic cousin! What a darling person! I think Nick is very good for Tom. Having some guy on guy time should be great for Tom! What a darling husband and cousin! I missed Nick greatly but I was too concerned about if people missed me back in Chicago! I was very popular. For my beauty and for my partying. It was so much fun! I do miss it. I miss my Chicago life style. But anywhere I go with Tom is fantastic and fun! What a great life! I am so happy Nick has visited us. He is a great person. It is funny how our lives are connected. My second cousin and my husband, friends before we even married! What a weird and connected life! I am so happy that Nick and Tom are friends! It feels great to know that I can connect my family with my husband! Tom is such a great husband! Nick is such a great cousin! I wish Nick would visit more often! 

What I was feeling- prt 1

When I heard his name again I felt a rush of feelings. I couldn't feel. I was shocked and numb. Was it him? Was he the one I used to love? Was it that Gatsby? That Gatsby I fell in love with when I was just 18. The one man that had changed my life before Tom. The lietentant who was shipped off to war causing our love to tragically end as fast as it started. I miss that Gatsby. I should not miss him. I have Tom, the greatest man in the world. The loveliest person I have ever met. Gatsby was not a bimbo, he was a real loving man. I miss our love and connection. I should not feel this way. I need to be loyal to Tom! I need to stop having impure thoughts. Gatsby is a part of the past, but I can't help but think about him. Our love was so pure, he is so pure. Tom is a fantastic husband, but I can't help but feel he's half there. I feel as if he doesn't love me as much as he used to. Jay Gatsby was a great man. I wish our love did not end so fast. I want to be with him again. But I will stay faithful to my husband. I just wish I could see him again. Maybe things would change. Maybe my life would be different if we were still together. How different would it be if Gatsby was mine again? Would he still love me with all his heart? He has to be married, he always had women lusting after him. But somehow he loved me. I was his pure and beautiful girl. I was his. He was mine. I was so very sad when he left. Until I met Tom, my loving husband! Will me and Tom be together forever? I sure hope so! We'll see what the future holds!
- Daisy